From Halloween 2000...

This weekend will be a celebration, for some, of evil. All Hallow's Eve! When you are home alone, know that your soul will soon be possessed by all encompassing evil! Satan!

I have sold my soul, and all of your email addresses, to the Master. Think I am your friend Ted? Think I am just really funny, creative, cool, smart, attractive friend Ted? I am. Do you know how I got to be? You do now...

O Mighty Demon!
Let I worship thee!
On thy hand and knee!
I worship thee!
O Mighty Demon!

O Mighty Red Devil!
With tail of thorn!
With beak of ivory!
With soul of Black Death!
I worship thee!
O Mighty Demon!

Can I interest anyone in some Halloween Nog?
  A sprinkle of... nutmeg?
   See you soon!