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The
Big Kahuna I call this section "Seeing a Lot of Movies Since I've Been Back From Paris," because I have been seeing a lot of movies since I've been back from Paris. And here's what's up with that: The first thing I saw was... U-571 at the Coronet on Geary on Saturday. It was... okay. Most of the excitement came from the pre-movie extravaganza of stupidity. A tiny, balding, slow-witted immigrant fellow "works" the concessions. He is like a retarded person, yet they have him training another retarded person. The line is forever. Then he has to make change and so he comes out from around the counter to get his manager. His manager is in the bathroom. So, all the people in line (a dozen or so) watch him knock on the door and try to get the change. He comes back. The manager will be with us shortly. A chubby, pimply-faced high school student finally comes out and makes change. Everyone in line is like wide-eyed at the inanity of the situation. Finally I get up there and get a popcorn and cherry slushy-thing and finally he gives me back my change -- two dollars short. I have no intention of spending another 5 minutes trying to work that out and holding the line up so I just go. Then he calls me back realizing his mistake, and gives me a dollar-fifty. So, now I'm only fifty cents behind. Whatever. The movie's okay. Jake Weber made an impression. Everybody else is as usual. Next movie, the next day... Up at the Villa at the Vogue on Sacramento on Sunday. It was not bad. A Maugham (The Razor's Edge/Of Human Bondage) story. I make no bones about being a huge Kristin Scott Thomas fan. Yes, I know what you're saying. "But, Ted you only like young, young, young, sexy little nugget type girls." Not true. I love Kristin Scott Thomas. I have ever since she stole the otherwise dire Four Weddings and a Funeral. She alone makes that movie worth seeing. And then of course English Patient, etc. Sean Penn co-starred and was good. As was Anne Bancroft. Jeremy Davies is in it and as usual plays an extremely nervous, mentally unbalanced person. It's all been done before, but your mother will probably like it; you know what I mean? I like the one-screen theatres like the Vogue. The screen is small and there is occasionally a stale smell of death that pervades, but I've had good luck there, seeing Out of Sight and Saving Private Ryan among other recommended releases. It's also fun to people watch the Presidio/Pacific Heights chattering, wealthy, aged, liberal, socialite crowd. Monday's Double Header: The Virgin Suicides at the godawful Galaxy on Sutter and Van Ness. The Galaxy doesn't even have a popcorn popping machine installed so as to pretend to pop fresh popcorn. They have large 20 gallon bags filled with pre-popped corn, that they then place into smaller "Small," "Medium," and "Large" sized bags and then they are placed under orange heat lamps. I hate the Galaxy. But it was there or Sony Metreon (don't get me started). I liked the Virgin Suicides. Flawed, but impressive. Kirsten Dunst is a wonder. I had Red Vines here. Gladiator at the Metro on Union. Guess who was working the concession counter again! That's right, the same guy as at U-571! Anyway, I got popcorn. A jack-ass dude took a cell phone call in the middle of the movie. He took the call. He walked down to right near the exit door, so that he could take the call and watch Gladiator. What a fuck. Gladiator was fair. Connie Nielsen is a hot, tall Dutch woman (possible future Person of the Week?) and very good. I like Joaquin Phoenix. Good eyes. Russell Crowe was fine. Richard Harris had a small part at the beginning. Derek Jacobi had a part as a Roman senator. And the late, great, drunken, bloated Oliver Reed had a good-sized part as a slave trader. His last role. This movie was weird. It seemed to believe in and embrace the beliefs and ideals of ancient Rome, which frankly, is a bit frightening. Like hooray, Russell Crowe is finally going to die so he can be with his wife and son in the great Afterlife? Like: knock-knock... ? Tuesday's Dinner and a Movie: Owing to the fact that my wealthy parents are aging, and I don't want to be forgotten at "will-drawing-up-time," -- which they re-do each month! -- I occasionally let Mom and Dad come into the city to take me out to dinner or some such. This time we went to see The Big Kahuna at the Bridge. First, let me say that the Bridge is one of my favorite-favorite theatres. They have what is possibly "the best popcorn" ( -- Ted Strong, May 2000) and they also have other good things. They tend to get good movies too. Like... The Big Kahuna. The Big Kahuna comes with my KSSA (Kevin Spacey Seal of Approval). This means that, as is almost always the case, Kevin Spacey was really good in this, and it's a pretty good movie overall, since Kevin Spacey usually puts a good amount of thought, and concern for world cinema, into his script choices. I would also like to point out that Peter Facinelli was good and Danny DeVito was very good (he is hit and miss with me, but he's very good here). Then Mom and Dad and I went to Absinthe. Mom and I liked our dinners. Dad did not like his. I've noticed that Dad tends to not like the food he gets at restaurants that I choose to go to. I don't know if this is psychological or not. I had chicken with some vegetables and french fries. Mom had... something... and Dad had some type of... fish? Wednesday's Arthouse Favorite! Time Code at the Embarcadero. The Embarcadero is tricky. It is generally a good theatre. Sometimes they hire mentally and physically retarded people to work there, and while that is nice and stuff, it is very time consuming for the patrons. And a bit unnerving, because you never know when someone might slobber into your popcorn when he tries to ask you if you want some of the butter product gopped on top. Another negative is that it is an $8.50 show and only the first show is at matinee prices. Which means that when I saw Time Code at 2:30 I had to pay $8.50. I did not buy popcorn because I could not smell it; they hadn't fresh popped any lately. Normally if they are popping popcorn at the Embarcadero it is very good corn. I did get a bottled sparkling water. Crystal Geyser I think. A funny sidenote. The dude who got me my water, when I first saw him from kind of far away as I was walking up, well I thought it was this friend of mine, Ashley Dyer. And Ashley just started working at a new job, and he's been very mysterious about what it is, and for a moment it ran through my mind that his new job was working the concessions at the Embarcadero! But it wasn't him. But it looked like him. This guy was slower (physically and mentally) and more balding. This is like the 3rd film in a row that Figgis has done with out Johanna Torell and that is worrisome. But I liked the movie. It was continuously shot with four cameras. No cuts. Lots of improvisation from the actors. The cameras eventually crossed paths back and forth with each other. One thing that was really neat was that most of the movie took place between Tower Records on Sunset, Book Soup across the street and Mutato Musico (where my sister used to work -- green circular building) -- places that I know by heart. So, I knew where everyone was, exactly, at every moment. So it was cool in that way. Different, offbeat, original, held my attention, some good actors. Especially Stellan Skarsgård, who is really turning out to be an international, majorly cool actor. He's almost 50 and has been acting since the late 60s. But he can pass for early 30s. But you'd have only noticed him in the last decade or so. Do I smell a new Person of the Week? Some of his films include: Deep Blue Sea (1999), Ronin (1998), Good Will Hunting (1997), Amistad (1997), Insomnia (1997), Breaking the Waves (1996), The Hunt for Red October (1990) and The Unbearable Lightness of Being (1988). Plus Saffron Burrows kisses Leslie Mann and Salma Hayak kisses Jeanne Tripplehorn. I love watching attractive women kiss each other. As I... think... you know. Cast also includes Holly Hunter, Kyle MacLachlan, Julian Sands and Steven Weber Thursday's Movie Treat! NEW THURSDAY! Thursday I walked from my apartment to the Opera Plaza Cinemas. See map. I've decided to walk more in the city. After all the walking I did in Paris, I noticed it's effects on my already near-perfect body, and so I thought I'd motorcycle less, and walk more. That's motorcycle less, and walk more. Please check out the map so you can see the over-15-city-block trek I went on! I saw The Cider House Rules, a movie that is as pro-abortion as I am. Let's make no bones about it, I am pro-abortion. I mean I'm sure some see it as a person at a certain stage and that abortion is the same as murder or whatever. But I see life differently. Look at this: There is no 'heaven' or 'hell' or anything like that. So, what happens here on earth is really all we can count on. None of the organized religions are anywhere near correct. They all say you will perish if you don't believe in them -- to the letter. Nonsense. Like a god is really up there keeping tally on whether you ate a burger or pork or where you touched your self or what you thought about things. Like it's a 'sin' to 'think' about certain things. I believe that religion enforces negative stereotypes in society and is very divisive as far as dealing with various cultures. Come on religion is for close-minded people, freaks and fanatics. Surely, there may be something else in the cosmos, spirituality-wise -- or whatever -- but it's nothing that anyone here on earth can possibly conceive of. So, you see that is my starting point. I don't believe that a person is getting hurt or losing anything if he never sees the light of day. He never knew anything. Never knew the opportunities or the loss or the happiness. Doesn't matter. Like squashing a bug. All that really matters is that actual 'people' take advantage of what is here and live life to the fullest, as they say. If you stifle yourself or censor yourself on various myths or superstitions you aren't really getting to experience much. So for a woman to accidentally get pregnant at 19 and (as so many, say, catholics, would do) then give up the rest of their life (most of the good years anyway) to bring up this kid (and likely in such a manner that he/she would have the same miserable, dull life that her mother/parents had) is just very, very sad. I like Tobey Maguire. Mike Caine got another Oscar and he was fine. I like Paul Rudd. I like his eyes. Charlize Theron looked a bit too much like a midwestern cornfed chubby girl, rather than the sexpot thing she does so well. A particularly good supporting performance from K. Todd Freeman. And that is that, for now. Plan to see maybe Frequency, The Last September or Topsy-turvy in the next few days. The problem is that none of them excite me that much, plus none of them are playing at theatres that are too good. I may go out to Balboa in Sunset for two of these. Does anyone know anything about that theatre? And then it's like: That was a little too close for comfort. I so almost just went and saw Frequency at the 1000 Van Ness. It's all that's left. Except Gone in 60 Seconds which is supposed to suck too. But I'm planning on seeing that with my buddy Tim tomorrow night. It was like 12 noon. And I'm online and it says Frequency at 1:20. So, I'm like I'll need to leave by 1:05. So a little later I take a shower. Then I get out. Then it's 1:05. I'm not dressed yet! The phone's ringing (UPS)! So, I'm like: mad dash. Then I'm dressed and my other clock says 1:05. So, I can make it. Then I think: Do I really want to sit through this movie? Dennis Quaid? It's ridiculous premise causes me to worry about suspension of disbelief problems. It's technically not possible. I think they proved that in the 50s. Not possible to go BACK a few decades and mess with stuff THAT'S ALREADY HAPPENED. You can't change it; it's already happened. It took Einstein and Jung to prove that you couldn't mess with it or something. So there's that. I mean just because I've been seeing a lot of movies lately, you know, keeping the webpage (http://www.tedstrong.com) fresh, doesn't mean I have to see EVERYTHING. I mean I'm certainly not seeing Dinosaur. You know? Shaft starts Friday. Saturday I walked down to the Embarcadero to see... Hamlet! Here's the program: Ethan Hawke ....
Hamlet I give you that list for a few reasons. One, for those of you familiar with the play (it's by Shakespeare -- come on now), you can see who is playing what famed character of the Bard -- or whatever. Plus, frankly, it's a good cast. Don't miss Jeffrey Wright's (Basquiat) very funny, very brief cameo. Get ready for a new Person of the Week, Paula Malcomson. Character actor Brad Dexter (The Magnificent Seven) once saved Sinatra from drowning. After that that was it for Brad Dexter. He was a made man. Sinatra life-long friend. Kyle MacLachlan is like a man who saved my life years ago. It was called Twin Peaks and he was called Agent Dale Cooper. I will always love Kyle MacLachlan. Very stylish, very cool, the actual dialog but updated to NYC in 2000. King of Denmark becomes the President of the Denmark Corporation. Great production values: costumes, set design, music, lighting, etc. Nothing too fancy, but very sharp. I prefer this to the silly DiCaprio Romeo + Juliet from a couple years ago. And I give this thumbs up for Ethan Hawke's yellow-lensed sunglasses alone. I must get those glasses. If you know where I can get them, or who puts them out (Rayban, Arnette?) please let me know. My good buddy, the D, down in LA, is on the lookout for these sunglasses I need. He is also a bit of an artist and came up with this ideal: Sunday, a very warm day, I motorcycled over to the Vogue to see... Small Time Crooks. Everyone is a Woody Allen fan. But everyone seems to disagree on what his best and worst films are. This one is something a little different. Some funny bits and ideas, but I just expected more. Plus the plot seemed somewhat erratic. Rent Manhattan Murder Mystery. It's his best film and in sort of the same vein as this one. I had popcorn and a Coke. Then Sunday night I rode over to the Roxie at 16th and Valencia to see... the premiere revival!... the brand new print!... Chinatown! Chinatown is not just Jack Nicholson's best film. It's not just Roman Polanski's best film. It's not just John Huston's best film. It's not just one of the best films of the 1970s. It's one of the best films... ever... made. I've seen it somewhere between 5 and 10 times. This is the first time I've gotten a chance to see it in a theatre. Never better. This film never gets old. Taking place in the 30s and made in the 70s, this film never dates. If you live in San Francisco see it (it plays through Tuesday the 23rd). If you live where it will play, see it. If you don't, and you've never seen it, rent it. This movie is a masterpiece on so many levels that I can't really go into detail. Jerry Goldsmith's off-kilter piano notes. Roman Polanski's knife wielding "midget." The period detail, the cast, the story, the script. Forget it Jake, it's... Chinatown. Monday I rode down to the Opera Plaza Cinemas. I saw The Last September. It was way back in like 1916, just before that inane Irish V. English debacle really heated up. Quiet story. Good cast. Love and war type stuff. Keeley Hawes is a very corn-fed/milk-fed looking farm girl type with the lead role. She was a little heavy, but not so bad. Something about her was very fresh and alive. She was good. The problem with young, attractive, slightly heavy girls is that they will only get fat. Believe me. I know people. Maggie Smith, Michael Gambon and 60s sex-pot, sex-kitten, sex-bomb Jane Birkin co-star. Gosh Jane Birkin was really something back in the 60s and 70s. Free love, free sex type. She was British but lived in France and still does. For those of you who grew up on Evil Under the Sun, like my siblings and I did, Jane Birkin was the villainess -- which we found out at the end. Sort of a fuddy-duddy pretense -- but then she was a nasty old killer! Something I forgot to tell you about my trip to the movies Monday. As you may recall, I saw The Last September. Well, I got there 5-10 minutes early and it was in one of those little screening rooms. It had like 17 seats. Anyway, there were these two old women sitting across the aisle and a row back. And, because they were old, they were speaking very loudly. Something about how Sheila doesn't care enough about Emily, who I think is Sheila's daughter. When many women get old they get fat. And they just sort of "plop" themselves into chairs and stuff. It's weird, but old ladies become just sort of like sacks. Like soft sacks filled with tissues, fat globules, brittle bones, liquids, etc. Anyway, both these two old women were plopped into their movie seats. Only their heads and arms moved. The one lady did most of the talking. The second lady talked occasionally, but she had a very weird, frightening voice. Like something from a horror movie. It was mostly through her nose. Like Darth Vader as an old lady. And whiny. Anyway, the first lady thinks that social workers don't really care about the people, they only care about having power over them. Sounds plausible. Tuesday I rode down to Palo Alto's Stanford Theatre. They are currently having a 3-D Fest. I saw a film called The Maze. It's the only black and white 3-D film I've ever seen. It was fun. It was sort of like a creepy horror story up in a castle in Scotland. Turns out that a man was born as a frog, because as a fetus he never got past the amphibious state. We finally saw the frog and found out what he was at the end. He had the mind of a man, but looked like a giant frog. It was so funny. Craziest thing you ever saw. I had some Lindt milk chocolate. There was a gigantic fat man sitting a few rows behind me. His buddy had to sit in the next seat over; this guy was so fat. He had like jammed himself down into the seat. But he was having a good-ol-fat-boy time at the movies.
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