Victoria Abril and Hilmir Snaer Gudnason.

DATELINE: SUNDAY, OCTOBER 7, 2001: Joanna came up for Mom and Steve's birthday weekend bash this weekend, so I was out in Alamo (East Bay) at my parents. On Friday, Jo and Mom went to a day spa thing at the Claremont in Berkeley. This is something that women do, I think.

Friday night, I rode out. We made dinner for mom. Mom always cooks and does housework and all this and so on her birthday, Mother's Day and the day after Christmas she tries to take those days off entirely.

Mom loves nothing more than to just hang out with her children and do nothing. She can only manage to do this three days a year without feeling guilty -- just barely. The old lady runs around the house like a madwoman, doing laundry, answering the phone, cleaning up before the cleaning woman comes, trying to keep everyone happy, including the two crazy men she lives with (my dad and my little brother).

On Friday night Jo, Dad, Steve and I made dinner and cleaned up and did the dishes, while just managing not till kill each other over who did more than who. Then Mom opened her gifts! Jo got her tons of beauty supplies. I made mom a tape! I know, it's cheap, but I have no job! Plus Mom opened a huge 60th birthday package from her relatives (sisters, brother, sister-in-law, mom, etc) from her homeland in northern Kentucky.

Then, Mom and Jo and I watched Wintersleepers, which we all liked. I owned the DVD and brought it out. Awesome German film from the guy who did Run Lola Run, before he did Run Lola Run. Mom and Jo had a lot of wine.

On Saturday, Steve's birthday, Steve opened his gifts! Jo and I got him CDs that he specifically asked for (only way to please Steve). Mom and Dad got him some clothes and stuff, most of which he wasn't happy with.

Then Mom and Jo and I watched Psycho Beach Party, which I rented. I love this movie. I've been trying to get Jo to see it for a long time, so I knew I just had to do it. But, she and Mom both liked it! I rule! Dad would have hated both films and doesn't watch TV with us too often. Steve floats in and out of rooms making strange noises and asking strange questions.

Next, Jo and I ran down to get turkey sandwiches at the greatest deli in the world, Walnut Creek's Genova's. The turkey is cooked in the back and rushed out, for the best turkey sandwiches "you ever throwed a lip over," -- Chill Wills, Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid, 1973.

Then we went to an evil major video rental chain in Alamo and Jo rented a couple movies. Along Came a Spider, the first, which she knocked off as soon as we got back. I'd already seen it, so I went downstairs and watched Switchback with Danny Glover, Jared Leto and Dennis Quaid, which happened to show up on Cinemax. Dad wanders in and says, "what's this?"

"I don't know," I say. "There's a murder, and then Danny Glover picks up this guy hitchhiking, and then the hitchhiker gets freaked by Danny, and makes him drop him off at this biker bar."

"Oh, yeah, I saw this... and Danny Glover turns out to be the killer, right?"

"I don't know, I HAVEN'T SEEN IT."

"Oh, sorry."

So Dad leaves, and then comes back at five suggesting the idea of cocktail hour (the bar is in the family room with the TV, me and Switchback). So, I happily suggest martinis, which I think he's hinting at, as it is well-known that I make the best martinis, period.

So, I make martinis for him and Mom. Mom claims to get "snockered" easily, and a martini will kill her, so it's a rarity, even though she loves them.

Here's what I do. You fill a stainless steel martini shaker with ice -- FILL it. Then you dump in your preferred gin (Bombay Sapphire). Then you take some Noilly Prat (I love that name) or other vermouth. You unscrew the cap. You very carefully hold the vermouth over the shaker, and put in about 10 drops (for two martinis). Too much vermouth will kill a martini. Then, you frankly, shake the goddam hell out of it. Stirring martinis is for -- I don't know what, but it's not the way to do it. If a martini isn't cold it's bad.

Then on Saturday night Mom made a special vegan pizza for Steve (who has turned vegan, ruining my relationship with him). Meanwhile, I went to Pinky's to pick up real, and the greatest in the world, pizzas for the rest of us.

Pinks was a mad-house and owner Tom was freaking out! He closed down early! I made it in under the wire, but had to wait a little while for the most delicious pizza in the world. So, I played the pinball machine -- and did terribly.

When I finally returned, I (the pizzas) was embraced and welcomed back to hearth and home!

Whenever, I would get home later than scheduled, I'd come in and Mom would light up, and Dad would say, "your mother was about to call the police."

Jo and I fought (somewhat jokingly) over how much pizza the other was getting -- as usual.

Then Jo and I watched the other film she rented -- one we'd both seen before. One that we both liked, and liked even more on our second viewing: Bring It On.

First of all, the direction, music, energy and comedy of this film are at a super high level. Then toss in a great cast -- especially the awesome Eliza Dushku and the wonderful Jesse Bradford, and Gabrielle Union, Clare Kramer, Nicole Bilderback, Holmes Osborne, Ian Roberts and Melanie Atmadja.

Missing someone? Of course. Only the most darlingest, sweetest, superest actress around these days -- Kirsty Dunst -- in the lead role. This girl is something to behold. She shows up, with great billing against Cruise and Pitt in Interview with the Vampire, at age 12. Yes, she'd done Bonfire of the Vanities and New York Stories before. Now she's 19. And she's done Crazy/Beautiful (2001), Get Over It (2001), Dick (1999), Drop Dead Gorgeous (1999), Virgin Suicides, The (1999), Wag the Dog (1997). And this girl is going to be "young" in Hollywood for another ten years. This is gold people. Beautiful, amazing luck we have to get this girl. Shirley Temple was dead by now. But Kirsten Dunst has the hottest body and the cutest attitude and tries to do good stuff. She won't quit, and she is a major cinematic gift to us.

Anyway, moving on, Bring It On is not Citizen Kane and it's not The Godfather, but it's wonderful.

Later Jo, Steve and I watched Saturday Night Live with the awesome Seann William Scott, who's energy and smile are infectious, hosting the always so-so show. While stepping onto the balcony to smoke. Mom used to smoke in the 60's and gave us the gene. We are not proud. Then Jo and I played Boggle and went to bed.

Sunday, Jo and I watched Bring It On again, but with Mom. Then I went back to SF. Returned Psycho Beach Party and saw Training Day at the Presidio on Chestnut. It was actually much better than I expected. A very good cop film with great performances especially by leads Denzel Washington and, surprisingly, Ethan Hawke.

The supporting cast includes Scott Glenn, the amazingly gorgeous Eva Mendes as Denzel's wife, Tom Berenger, Snoop Dogg, Harris Yulin, Raymond J. Barry, Cliff Curtis, Dr. Dre, singer Macy Gray wonderful in a small role, and Charlotte Ayanna as Hawke's wife. I used to hang out with Charlotte Ayanna in Hollywood, with my friend Bryan Hickel in the mid-90s, but I doubt she'd remember me now. She was Miss Teen USA and had just moved to Hollywood. Hickel met her somewhere, and that was that.

Before that movie started, I saw a short trailer for Ocean's Eleven. And I am excited.

DATELINE: SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 30, 2001: Saturday I rode out to the Empire 3 to see Zoolander, but it was sold out. Actually it was just really full, and I didn't want to risk having to sit behind someone I hate and next to someone I hate and next to a second person I hate.

If Sunday, September 30, wasn't the hottest day San Francisco's had all year, it was the hottest night. You'd say too hot, if you didn't live in San Francisco, and sit through it's summers of fog, wind and cold.

Regardless, I rode on my motorcycle down California to the coast and then back up Clement. In a tshirt. Can't usually do this due to weather issues. It was that hot.

Then I walked down to the Lumiere and saw the 4:50 show of Happy Accidents. When I saw 101 Reykjavik on Friday it was in the shit theatre, and I was like why is this in the shit theatre? It should be in the big theatre. Happy Accidents was in the good theatre. So, when I went to see Happy Accidents I was like, cool, at least I'll see a movie in the nice theatre. But they switched 'em. I saw both films in one weekend in the shit screening room.

And they say there's a god. Right. Happy Accidents is a sketchy, very independent film with Marisa Tomei, Vincent D'Onofrio, Holland Taylor and Anthony Michael Hall. Sort of a science fiction comedy without letting you know it's a science fiction comedy. Don't bother seeing it. See Zoolander and let me know how it is, I mean like if you read this today.

DATELINE: FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 28, 2001: Hi. I'm sorry, I don't know what to say. I'm bored. You're bored. We're all bored.

However, I did see 101 Reykjavik today at the Lumiere. A great film.

It's from Iceland, as the title might imply.

I'd once heard Greenland was mostly ice, and Iceland was mostly green, but in this film Iceland looks pretty icy.

True, a lot of it takes place in winter.

Enough of that. A young man, who's exactly like me, except he has sex, is troubling through this world. He lives with him mom and has no job and lives off Iceland's unemployment fund. He hangs out with friends sometimes, and goes to bars and drinks. Then a friend of his mom's comes to stay with them.

She's older, but hot, and there are feelings, but then, too, are there feelings between the mom and this woman (played by Almodovar favorite Victoria Abril)? Who knows. See the movie. It's great; a "life affirming comedy" as so many foreign films are -- but in a good way. Abril and Hilmir Snaer Gudnason are amazing, as is the entire cast. The photography, locales, direction (Baltasar Kormákur ) and music (Damon Albarn and Einar Ørn Benediktsson) are all quite beautiful. Just see it. The great movies come out. Albeit briefly, and albeit maybe in a city you have to spend 40 minutes driving to, but it's worth it. So do it, Mom, Pete, Joanna (Joanna actually lives IN Hollywood, so it's a cinch for her, but she's lazy).

Next, I saw Don't Say a Word at the Coronet with my friend Jenny. Jenny was really sad today because half her company was laid off, thankfully, not her. However I decided to cheer her up, I took her to dinner and a movie, which I paid for. I had to sell a stereo component to do this, but don't tell her.

Anyway, Don't Say a Word is your random thriller as you'd expect. Need I go into detail? No, except to say, that as usual, Brittany Murphy is brilliant. Michael Douglas, Sean Bean, Famke Janssen, Oliver Platt, and Jennifer Esposito costar. As far as the 6-digit number goes, I'll never tell... I'll never tell... Any of you...

Plus the Coronet was hiring yet another aged, retarded man, and I got a Coke that was only 1/2 full. Usually, they overflow it to hell, leaving a sticky trail of pop sweetner all over the cup, which is bad, but getting a half full Coke is worse, when you've dumped salt all over your popcorn.

DATELINE: SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 23, 2001:

Saturday night I saw Rat Race at the Rheem Theatre in the East Bay, in Rheem, near Moraga, near where I went to school at St. Mary's College.

Long ago when I first saw previews for Rat Race, I figured it would suck. It looked terrible. But then it got some positive reviews. But it sucked. Just terrible. Not funny, stupid.

On Sunday I saw Cure at the Lumiere. It starts out like a detective film, but turns into a horror film sort of. Some gruesome murders take place. They are related. Someone kills a loved one or friend, and don't remember it or why they did. Then some creepy guy shows up... and he may have the answers.

Directed by Kiyoshi Kurosawa.

DATELINE: FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 21, 2001: I went to the Castro and saw a revival print of Jean-Luc Godard's Bande à part (1964).

I'd been looking forward to seeing this for some time, because the Castro had been showing a real neat trailer for it that I saw before Funny Girl, Performance, The Monkey's Mask, etc.

Sami Frey(Cleo from 5 to 7, Nea) and Claude Brasseur (Detective, Eyes Without a Face) play goofy street characters/minor criminals who drive around in a little convertible. Frey is in love with (Godard's wife at the time) Anna Karina, whom he meets in an English class.

Unfortunately, Sami tells Claude about her, so Claude goes for her. Then she's into Claude, but mainly the three of them are hanging out. She lets it slip that someone who lives in her home has a ton of cash just sitting out. In classic French New Wave form, they plan a robbery.

The film is shot in and around Paris, of course, and it's great fun, with a score by Michel Legrand (Thomas Crown Affair, Umbrellas of Cherbourg), and wacky youthful fun. At the Castro thru October 3. On the 4th, for one day only, will screen Fritz Lang's Woman in the Moon. For more check out the Castro's website.

Unfortunately, due to the fact that I currently have no money and no money coming in, I will be seeing less films for a while. Luckily, tonight my friend was working the box office and I got in free -- just when I really needed it.

Also, of note, today I was on Chestnut Street where Eric and I got lunch at John Rockets, and we met an attractive woman named Carrie. That's not what's of note. This is: Another classic one-screen theatre has shut down... permanently. Cinema 21 on Chestnut is dead. 1927-2001.

DATELINE: MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 17, 2001: Right, so on Monday I walked down to the Lumiere to see the terribly dull and terribly pretentious lesbian love drama The Girl.

Written by Monique Wittig and Sande Zeig, and directed by Sande Zeig. Besides being a pretentious erotic lesbian drama it's also a film noir. A ridiculous film noir.

This "woman" (Agathe De La Boulaye) falls in love with "the girl" (Claire Keim) who is beautiful and has deceivingly large breasts, and sings in a club in Paris. This film is shot in Paris and made by the French, but for some reason everyone speaks French accented English.

Anyway, this evil "Man" who owns the club wants "the girl" as his property. So there is a fight amidst the love making. Very silly stuff.

And, frankly, if I don't like a French film, with many scenes of lesbian lovemaking, you know it sucks.

DATELINE: SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 15, 2001: Right, so I saw Beat the Devil and The Glass House. Beat the Devil is better. And, in that film I made the discovery of the year -- Jennifer Jones.

I know what you're saying. "Ted, you've seen Beat the Devil before, how can you only discover her now?" Or, "Ted, surely, you've seen other Jennifer Jones films?" Or, whatever.

Well, that's true. But earlier in Beat the Devil I was caught up in the whole Humphrey Bogart/Peter Lorre/John Huston aspect. I don't know why I didn't see it before, but Jennifer Jones is hilarious in this film and beautiful and sexy. She's also blonde, which was very rare. Lorre was blonde too, as a tribute to screenwriter Truman Capote.

Anyway, I'm rambling. Jennifer Jones also had this funny sort of lisp in Beat the Devil, and I don't know if it was real or not. She's past 80 now, she's only made 25 films, her last being the silly The Towering Inferno in 1974.

Under her real name of Phyllis Isley, she made two B films in 1939, New Frontier with John Wayne and Dick Tracy's G-Men with Ralph Byrd. The same year she married the depressed, alcoholic Robert Walker. But Republic dropped her.

David O. Selznick then spotted her and decided to make her a star. Her first film with him was "The Song of Bernadette (1943), a 20th Century-Fox spectacular that cast her as a young French girl who claims to have seen the Virgin Mary in a vision. Jones won a well-deserved Oscar for her first big role, and Selznick rushed her into his own production, Since You Went Away (1944), a wartime domestic drama for which she was Oscar-nominated. She impressed moviegoers with her warm, touching portrayal of an average American girl coping with home-front hardships. Amazingly, Jones earned Academy Award nods for her next two performances as well, first as a fragile amnesiac in Love Letters (1945), then as a tempestuous half-breed in Selznick's elephantine, sexy Western, Duel in the Sun (1946). By this time she had blossomed into a beautiful, sensitive actress," says Leonard Maltin.

Now, you know what it is? Why I'm not that familiar with her? Because bloated studio dramas of the 40s are not my forte! But now, I'm going to have to rent all these films. I did however see Duel in the Sun, which is not perfect, but is fun, in a Sirkian kind of way. A great cast (Jo Cotten, Greg Peck, Charlie Bickford, Walter Huston, Lionel Barrymore, Lillian Gish, Herbert Marshall, Harry Carey, Otto Kruger, Hank Worden and a narration by Orson Welles, himself).

Jones and Walker had divorced in 1944 and she finally married Selznick in 1949. "She contributed consistently fine performances in the likes of Lubitsch's Cluny Brown (1946), Portrait of Jennie (1948), Madame Bovary (1949), The Wild Heart (1950, aka Gone to Earth), Carrie (1952), Love Is a Many Splendored Thing (snagging another Oscar nomination for her work in this 1955 soaper), Good Morning, Miss Dove (also 1955), The Man in the Gray Flannel Suit (1956), The Barretts of Wimpole Street, A Farewell to Arms (Selznick's swan song as producer, both 1957), and Tender Is the Night (1961)." -- Maltin again.

Now, I've seen Love in a Many Splendored Thing -- strictly for Holden, and I don't remember it very well, so I may have been drinking, which was my favorite way to see Holden films. My sort of tribute to his own alcoholism.

I also saw Gray Flannel Suit years ago, and don't remember it at all. The rest I haven't seen!

"After Selznick died in 1965, Jones seemed to lose interest in her career, appearing in just three more films -- The Idol (1966), Cult of the Damned (1969), and The Towering Inferno (1974) -- before retiring altogether. She remarried, to businessman-philanthropist Norton Simon, and has stayed out of the limelight. Her son Robert Walker, Jr., is also an actor (and the very image of his father)," says Maltin for the last time today.

Of course, I've seen Towering as McQueen is the Man, the other two, I've not heard of. I can testify to Bob Walker Jr looking exactly like his father, because I saw him on an old episode of Columbo. Seriously, get that episode on tape and get Strangers on a Train and you'll swear it's the same guy. Anyway, Phillip Oliver has done a great site on Jennifer Jones, check it out. And here is what David Thomson wrote about her in his Biographical Dictionary of Film.

The Glass House was routine thriller, with some plot holes, but a good cast Leelee Sobieski, Stellan Skarsgard, Diane Lane, Bruce Dern and Chris Noth.

Leelee's parent's die in a car wreck, and she and her little brother go to live with family friends Skarsgard and Lane. But they are sketchy: money probs, attitude probs, drug probs, more probs, etc.

Then on Saturday I walked down to the Clay on Fillmore and saw the new Swedish film Together, which was great, one of the year's best. Some Swedes trying to make a go of it in a commune-like atmosphere in the mid-70s.

DATELINE: MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 10, 2001: Whew, last weekend I saw four more movies after Jeepers Creepers (see below). First I saw Performance at the Castro! The film is somewhat of a cult classic. Written and directed by Donald Cammell and co-directed and photographed by Nicolas Roeg in 1970.

Anita Pallenberg administers Johnson's New No Tears Shampoo to Michele Breton, in Performance, 1970.

James Fox is a cockney gangster like in Sexy Beast or Get Carter or Snatch or whatever. But then he kills a guy he shouldn'ta and he goes on the lamb and's gotta hide out!

He stumbles into the bohemian/artists lifestyle world of Mick Jagger, Anita Pallenberg and Michele Breton. So Fox crashes with these dudes for a while, until they start to take his mind over. The movie is a freak-out classic! At the Castro thru Thursday.

On Saturday, I saw Soul Survivors at the AMC 1000. It was a thriller/horror film with kids again: Wes Bentley, Casey Affleck (lame brother of Ben), Melissa Sagemiller or some name like that. It was not very good. I saw it because one of the stars was Eliza Dushku! And she's great.

This girl and her boyfriend and their two friends get in a car wreck and the boyfriend dies. But then her life is never like a life, leading the audience to realize what is going on, it's just a series of weird dreams and stuff. Totally pointless, no building tension or anything. A real mistake.

But not as big a mistake as Rockstar that I saw on Sunday at the Coronet! This is one of the most boring films I've seen in a long time. Just totally pointless and dull.

This guy sings in a cover band of this popular band and then the singer of the popular band leaves the band and this guy (Mark Wahlberg) takes over. His girlfriend is Jennifer Aniston, but he gets too into the rockstar lifestyle and that relationship doesn't survive. Drugs, girls, selling out. Too much for Wahlberg who scraps it all and starts singing soulful light Matchbox 20 grunge in Seattle coffee shops. Gets back with Aniston. Totally pointless, routine, cliched film. But no fun at all on the way there. Few laughs, drama dull, romance dull, script bad, songs really not good. Like why do we have to listen to these songs which aren't classics or new good songs, just bad rock?

Back to Saturday night when I saw the new 3 1/2 hour Apocalypse Now Redux at the Presidio on Chestnut. I'd seen the original on video twice many years ago. The new one is good, it's long though. New scenes include nudity. Mainly a stay at a French manor in the middle of Nam, and hijinks with the Playboy bunnies.

Cast includes: Martin Sheen, Marlon Brando, Robert Duvall, Frederic Forrest, Sam Bottoms, Dennis Hopper, Larry Fishburne, Albert Hall, Christian Marquand, G.D. Spradlin, Harrison Ford, Cynthia Wood, Colleen Camp, Jerry Ziesmer ("with extreme prejudice" guy), Scott Glenn, Linda Carpenter, R. Lee Ermey, Roman Coppola and Aurore Clement as Roxanne Sarrault. Francis Ford Coppola and cinematographer Vittorio Storaro are briefly seen as TV photographers in a nice out-of-body experience (Sheen looks properly confused).

DATELINE: FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 7, 2001: I just saw Jeepers Creepers at the AMC Van Ness.

But, first I went to In N Out Burger and got lunch. Last night I had this dream that all of my friends didn't like me. They were like making fun of me, and they thought I was lame. Which is actually a real fear that I have. I really wonder if my friends like me...

Jeepers Creepers was a horror film. It was okay. There were some really good scenes and ideas, but a lot of cliche stuff too. Like our stars should have not done tons of things they did. Like, "let's look down that sewage pipe to see if there's any dead bodies down there... waaaaaaaahhhhh!"

Gina Phillips in Jeepers Creepers, 2001.

A beautiful girl and her brother are driving home from college. Then... things happen. A weird truck tries to run them off the road, they see bodies covered in bloody sheets. Weird phone calls... Seriously worth it just to watch Gina Phillips for an hour and a half in a red t-shirt and jeans. Look at her hair! Gorgeous!

DATELINE: SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 2, 2001. On Friday, I went to see O (a modern updating of Othello) at the Coronet at 1:45. When I got to the theatre Planet of the Apes was still playing there. So the ad in the Chronicle said O opened there today. So did the site I go to to check what films are playing in the Bay Area.

So, I left. I rode down to Fisherman's wharf to see if the new In N Out Burger had opened. It hadn't. So I walked around for a while, and listen to me: Fisherman's Wharf is lame. Tons of people, all of them white trash (no offense) or other tourists. White trash is like 90% obese, by the way. Totally sick. I mean no offense, there's white trash in my family. I love some white trash. I could have been white trash. I'm just saying how it is.

So, I rode down Columbus and got some pizza at Golden Boy Pizza. Then I went and got a couple books at City Lights Books. Then home. Then... no that's about it.

The last few days have been nice and warm until around 4 when the fog rolls in and it's freezing.

On Saturday I went for a long, exercise-related walk. Down Sacramento to Divis and back. From Leavenworth and Sacramento. So, then I came back. Then I went and saw A Matter of Taste at the Lumiere. A very good French drama about obsession!

This nutty millionaire businessman hires this guy to be his "taster" and taste his food for him to make sure there's no fish or cheese in it. The guy becomes the businessman's right hand man and there relationship just gets weirder and weirder. The guy's girlfriend is a little concerned. The guy's girlfriend reminds me of Pettre Hegre's wife in his great photography book on her. Anyway, the actress is Florence Thomassin. I'd tell you more, but my info is extremely limited.

Then I went to dinner at Frjtz Frites on Hayes and Laguna, with Ashley, Jenny, Zev, Amy and Gary. I had a whole lot of fries. Then we went to the AMC Van Ness to see Wet Hot American Summer.

It was very funny. Not like Meatballs and other summer camp films, as I was kind of figuring it to be. But a complete satire/spoof of those types of films. Really sort of outrageously ridiculous. But very funny. I laughed very much at certain bits. Cast includes: Janeane Garofalo, David Hyde Pierce, Michael Showalter, beautiful Marguerite Moreau, a very funny Paul Rudd and Zak Orth, Christopher Meloni of Law & Order SUV, Molly Shannon, Gideon Jacobs hilarious as a wise 10 year old, Michael Ian Black and Elizabeth Banks. Banks was beautiful and very good. I hadn't really seen her before. She had a small role in Shaft. I don't know her. I don't know her boyfriend or anything. So this is totally unbiased. Rumor has it that she is on the way UP, with upcoming roles in the new Guy Ritchie/Madonna film and as Betty Brandt in Spiderman.

Right, then on Sunday I saw Funny Girl (in rerelease) at the Castro. Barbra Streisand is Fanny Brice. Omar Sharif is her nice-guy gambler/hood husband, Kay Medford her mother, Anne Francis a stage friend, Walter Pidgeon is Florenz Ziegfeld; with Mae Questel and Frank Faylen. It's a musical comedy-drama (aren't they all?) that runs well over 2 and half hours, including an intermission!

It could have been worse. The audience at the Castro was very pro-Barbra. I'm not. Although, she's less annoying in this than in anything else I've seen her in. It's not bad. Songs aren't too memorable. But whatever. It's like, now I've seen it, so I don't need to again.

DATELINE: FRIDAY, AUGUST 31, 2001. On Wednesday I saw The Monkey's Mask at the Castro. A lesbian detective story from Australia. Not bad, not great. Susie Porter and Kelly McGillis star. Quite a few love scenes.

On Thursday I saw Nam's Angels (aka The Losers) at the Parkway Theater in Oaktown. The film stars William Smith and Bernie Hamilton ("Starsky & Hutch").

The imdb.com says "Hell's Angels vs. the Viet Cong! Halfbaked mix of Nam and Bikerflicks" and stuff like that. Sounds more fun than it was. Pretty hard to sit through.

TUESDAY, AUGUST 28, 2001: I was out in the East Bay today, so I stopped at the Orinda on my way back to SF and saw American Outlaws.

Within the last month I saw, POTW Ali Larter in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001), Legally Blonde (2001) and American Outlaws (2001). She's a very special girl. It hasn't been realized yet by most people. She's capable of anything and everything. Mark my words. She'll do it. Sometimes she's only okay looking and sometimes she's sparklingly gorgeous. Best smile you'll ever see. She was upstaged by Eliza Dushku and a hairstyle that didn't work for her in Jay and Silent Bob. Legally Blonde she was fine in a supporting role, but it was Reese's film. American Outlaws is a lame, but not horrible, 2001 western. Ali was fine.

The script was silly and pointless but Colin Farrell (as Jesse James) showed something as an actor. Scotty Caan is someone who I just plain keep seeing! He's James Caan's son, and much shorter than his dad, he'll never be a super star because he's not cute and he's very short. He could end up a quality character player. It's smart of him at this point to take all these roles they offer him. Just get out there.

Gabriel Macht gave the best performance of the film as Frank James -- always the most interesting character in any Jesse James story. Frank was the smart one, and the one with some kind of moral outlook.

It was also fun to see actors like Timothy Dalton, Ronny Cox, Terry O'Quinn and Harris Yulin dress up in old time cowboy gear.

Will McCormack, Gregory Smith, Kathy Bates, Nathaniel Arcand and Ty O'Neal co-star.

I forgot something about my American Outlaws review. It was me and eight 13-year-old boys. They giggled and laughed and talked, but I couldn't really get annoyed because I felt like I was so outnumbered.

MONDAY, AUGUST 27, 2001: Over the weekend I saw Curse of the Jade Scorpion at the Vogue on Sacramento. It was light Woody Allen. It looked great, and could have/should have been a lot better. I was hoping for something as wonderful as Manhattan Murder Mystery, but didn't get it. It wasn't a bad film, just not a lot of laughs. Cast includes Allen, Charlize Theron, Dan Aykroyd, Helen Hunt, Wallace Shawn and John Schuck.

During the entire film a baby was crying. Yes someone actually brought a baby to the film (bad enough -- there is no excuse), but when it cried they didn't take it outside, they just said, "shhhh-shhhh." Frankly I couldn't believe it. When I was leaving I wanted to see who it was, from what I witnessed this couple and their baby were foreigners. Now, maybe they just don't understand this culture. But in America, you don't bring crying babies into the movie theatres. Damn!

On Sunday, my old buddy Tim came over. We watched some of the TRL summer countdown on MTV. We talked about the good old days. Tim is my old buddy from high school. Then we walked down to the Village Pizza place and we got a medium pepperoni pizza. I had 4 slices and Tim had 2 and a half. I cannot control my pizza intake very well. I didn't need 4 slices. Oh, I should point out, there was enough for each of us to have 4 slices, I didn't, like, take some of Tim's pizza.

Then we walked across the street to the Galaxy and saw John Carpenter's Ghosts of Mars. Very silly, very Carpenter. Tim described it when it was over by doing John Carpenter being interviewed: "Yeah, it's a lot like my last movie, Vampires, only it's set on Mars."

A middle aged couple behind us talked throughout the entire film, and when there was an intense/violent scene the woman said things like: "Shit! Oh God, Goddam! Shit!" Meanwhile, the husband laughed loudly when Ice Cube said some sort of bad ass comic statement. It was almost as good as the time Pete and I saw Harlem Nights, and an elderly woman behind us kept shouting things to the actors on screen. She got real upset when the evil cops did something bad to Eddie & Co.

Last weekend I saw four classics at the Castro: Chinatown, Touch of Evil, Night and the City and Sweet Smell of Success. Actually that's four classics and a good movie. Anyone who knows anything, knows which are the classics, so... Night and the City was good. Some good on location in London footage, some great supporting performances, especially by Googie Withers (Googie started making films in 1935, she was in Hitchcock's The Lady Vanishes, and she was most recently in Shine with Geoff Rush in 1996 -- over 60 years later. She's still alive). Richard Widmark rather overplays his role as a good for nothing small time hood trying to make it big. A young Herbert Lom and others try to shut him down. Gene Tierney plays the long-suffering wife. I'm not going to say anthing about Chinatown, Touch of Evil, and Sweet Smell of Success. They're just plain masterpieces. Just rent them this week, you'll be doing yourself a favor. They are film at it's best.

Then I saw this Swedish movie at the Roxie. I got a medium popcorn swathed in buttery butter. Mick LaSalle says: "There has never been a film like Songs From the Second Floor. In its technique, sensibility and atmosphere, it's a complete original. It's also a serious work of art that attempts greatness -- and almost succeeds... to quibble about a movie as fine and thought-out as this would be ungenerous. Songs From the Second Floor, for all its bleakness, is consistently funny.

And some commie-red (Alice Liddel) who got her review on the imdb page for this film says: "One of capitalism's favourite pretences... Songs from the Second floor, which could be subtitled 'Fall of the Western Empire'... The ethics of capitalism... the way they treat other humans... bureaucracy... society breaking down... advertising results... in glossy shallowness... a society where the minimalist surroundings reflect minimalist humanity, where human relationships... is devastatingly, humanly angry, and somehow very moving... creates an oppressive violence in the viewer, a desire to smash the whole glasshouse down."

By the way I've looked at some of Alice Liddel's other imdb reviews and they all deal with films from a pretentious, political viewpoint.

Speaking of pretentious, that's what I thought about Songs from the Second Floor. And very, very boring. I just kept thinking about walking out. And the last movie I walked out of was Who's Harry Crumb, 12 years ago, and then only because I'd seen two movies already that day and walked into Crumb for free. After an hour and 15 minutes, I realized I would just stay and watch it out. While the last 10 minutes were better than the previous 90, every time there was a fade to black, I was all, "Please, be over, please be over, please be.... awwww!"

Anyway only pseudo-intellectual film critics and reds will like this film.

I was going to see Cat on a Hot Tin Roof and Suddenly, Last Summer at the Castro Tuesday night, but my buddy Pete called and said he had free passes to Summer Catch at the Galaxy, so I did that.

Before we get to why this film is important, let me take care of a few points. A light, amiable, romantic comedy drama about some dudes playing baseball in Cape Cod one summer, being watched by scouts for the majors. Cast includes: Freddie Prinze Jr., Jessica Biel, Matthew Lillard, Fred Ward, Jason Gedrick, Brittany Murphy, Bruce Davison, Brian Dennehy, "Buffy's" Marc Blucas, John C. McGinley and Beverly D'Angelo.

The cast was good, especially POTW Brittany Murphy as a gorgeous young woman who likes to drink and have sex and talk in a wacky Boston accent!

Now, why this film is important. They show, in the previews and on the TV spots, a brief shot of Jessica Biel getting out of a swimming pool.

Pete and I like to watch 7th Heaven for two reasons, because it's so much fun to make fun of, and because Jessica Biel is in it.

So, Jessica gets out of the pool, all dripping, slowly walks back to the other end, Freddie is watching her while mowing the lawn and he mows over some flowers and then smashes into a bird feeder or something, I don't know, because like Freddie, I was watching Jessica.

Now, this gal, now, it's just, I remember when she did some semi-nude photos for Gear magazine, which are great, and which was a great stunt. She wanted off this lame Christian TV show, Seventh Heaven and so she did this. Some furor arose. She's only a semi-regular now, phoning lines in from "college."

Jessica is 19. She was born 6 years after my brother who was born six years after me. Besides the Heaven and Summer Catch, Jessica has appeared in the films I'll Be Home for Christmas (1998) and Ulee's Gold (1997).

Anyway, back to the important part. The important part, is that Jessica got out of the pool, and her body is outstanding. She's busty-ish (nice big ass/nice tits), and she's got a real thin waist. And everything on her is real. You can tell. After the swimming pool scene (which Pete and I were talking about could be the greatest getting out of a pool scene ever) Pete said "that makes it all worth it." I just nodded, still somewhat in a stupor of mad, obsessive love/gawking at this young girl.

Then I saw The Last Picture Show at the Castro. A great film about sex in a small midwest town in 1951-52. Ben Johnson won a well-deserved Supporting Actor Oscar for his role as Sam the Lion. Timothy Bottoms stars, plus it's fun to see Jeff Bridges, Cybill Shepherd, Randy Quaid in 1971. Also starring Cloris Leachman, Ellen Burstyn, Eileen Brennan, Clu Gulager, Sam Bottoms and John Hillerman. Directed by film writer and critic Peter Bogdanovich.

Saturday, August 24th Pete and I walked down to Cinema 21 and saw Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. It was okay, there were some laughs. I don't really like Kevin Smith and thought this film was his best yet. Some people love him: Dogma (1999), Chasing Amy (1997), Mallrats (1995) and Clerks (1994). A lot of supporting roles and cameos. Eliza Dushku was wonderful and other highlights included: Ben Affleck, Matt Damon and Gus Van Sant spoofing Good Will Hunting, James Van Der Beek and Jason Biggs, Tracy Morgan, Ali Larter, Diedrich Bader, Jason Lee, Chris Rock, Seann William Scott, Jon Stewart, Jamie Kennedy and Will Ferrell stealing the film.

First, I found a new site that I love: www.bluishorange.com. Starting the weekend off early, on Thursday I went to Brandon's Pork BBQ Porkfest III. I had some pork related products. Ran into some of the gang. Chit-chat ensued.

Friday my buddy and I had lunch at Bix with my parents. I had a wonderful cheeseburger and fries. Later, my buddy and I drove out to the beach at Chrissy Field. We hung around there for a while. Watching the girls go by kind of thing. And dogs going by. And wind surfers.

Friday night, I went out to the Galia superfest put on by SDR Productions, the hottest DJing team in the US at the moment. I did some chit-chatting.

Saturday I went surfing with Gabe, in Pacifica. May have reinjured old motorcycle related (?) wound. Severe pain in lower right ribs. Sleeping, moving, breathing, walking difficult.

Saturday I saw The Others with Nicole Kidman. No, again, it wasn't a date; she didn't go with me to the movie. She's in it. Damn! It was a pretty clever ghost story. For some reason, unrelated to the film, I kept sort of falling asleep. I mainly missed when Chris Eccleston showed up as Kidman's husband in the middle. But it had some good scares.

I saw Legally Blonde last week. Cute. I like Reese Witherspoon, Luke Wilson and Ali Larter and Jessica Cauffiel. Wacky comedy about California girl Reese, getting into Yale Law School to impress her lame boyfriend who dumped her. She ends up winning a murder trial.

Sunday, I saw a movie with Gabe and Tim Littrel. Ghost World. Good movie. A couple of downer girls graduate high school. The girl with the big tits from American Beauty (Thora Birch -- ha I fooled you!) takes up with Steve Buscemi, at first making fun of his dorkiness, then caring about him. Lots of wacky characters. Fun!

Monday, after work, I saw The Crimson Rivers with Pete and two of his work friends. It was pretty good, a French serial killer thriller with Jean Reno and Vincent Cassel. Then we went to the Grubstake where I had a cheeseburger and fries.

And add The Deep End. Salon magazine (www.salon.com) said: "A satisfying '40s-style women's melodrama disguised as an art-house film taps into the secret movie-loving heart in all of us." And I couldn't say anything better.

I also saw Brother and American Pie 2. I feel certain that I already said something about Brother, but I can't find it. It was goodish. Beat Takeshi wrote, starred and directed. He was good; Omar Epps costars. I've always like Omar Epps. American Pie 2 was not bad. It was good. The great Seann William Scott (as Stifler) had an enlarged part, but most of the women just phoned in their parts (except Alyson Hannigan -- did I spell that right?). It was sweet and cute, funny, and everybody got laid -- like they should. I was jealous.

The last week or so of July I saw Jurassic Park III, Made and M*A*S*H.

Practically all of July in San Francisco was spent under cloud cover. Fog. It was freezing and miserable. I mean, this is July. But, then, too, I mean, this is San Francisco.

Jurassic Park I saw down on Chestnut St. I think at the Presidio. It was shorter and a little tighter than both the previous films, but not much more. A couple laughs, a couple good thriller moments. It was better than the second one anyway. And no Goldblum, so that's great. Sam Neill, Tea Leoni, William H. Macy, Michael Jeter, and Laura Dern phones in a cameo. The film also features a routine Speilberg kid who is much smarter and wiser than his parents.

Made was directed by Jon Favreau and starred Favreau and Vince Vaughn. It has a style that is like Swingers, but it's different enough. Very good, very funny. Co starring Sean Combs (Puffy, Pif Daddy, P Diddy), Peter Falk, Famke Janssen, Faizon Love, Vincent Pastore, Tom Morello , Jonathan Silverman, Kimberley Davies, Dustin Diamond, Jennifer Esposito, and Drea de Matteo.

Favreau and Vaughn are low level boxers. Vaughn is a disaster area, and everything he says or does is the wrong thing. Favreau gets some gigs, but they're always like, but we don't want your friend, but then Favreau talks them into it. Falk is a minor mafia guy who sends Favreau and Vaughn from L.A. to NYC to make a "drop." Nothing goes smoothly, laughter ensues.

On Saturday, I dropped my bike off at Munroe Motors on 15th and Valencia to have the tires replaced. Then Eric and I went and had some pizza at Arinells on 16th and Valencia. Then we walked over to the Roxie and saw M*A*S*H. It was a great movie. Don't let the lame and preachy TV show ruin it for you. M*A*S*H is a satire. "M*A*S*H" is a comedy-drama, with heavy, pretentious, TV drama. Great cast, great Altman. I just saw Altman's The Long Goodbye again, and that is one of the best films of the 70s.

Roger Bowen was awesome as Colonel Henry Blake. He died one day after McLean Stevenson who played the same character in the "M*A*S*H" television series. The rest of the cast was great too: Donald Sutherland as "Hawkeye" Pierce, M.D., Elliott Gould as "Trapper John" M.D., Tom Skerritt, Sally Kellerman, Robert Duvall, Rene Auberjonois, David Arkin, Jo Ann Pflug, Gary Burghoff, Fred Williamson, Michael Murphy, Bobby Troup, John Schuck, Bud Cort, Fran Tarkenton, with Ted Knight and Marvin Miller doing offstage dialog and Sal Viscuso as the P.A. Announcer.

Then the very next day I saw The Swimmer (1968) at the Roxie. Wacky, late 60s pic about an aging Burt Lancaster refusing to deal with his personal losses, and just swimming home through neighbors' pools. Weird, for it's time anyway. But interesting.

Then on Monday night I saw Planet of the Apes at the Coronet with Eric. It was okay. Forgettable. Except for watching Estella Warren walking around the rocks in her caveman outfit. This girl's got that body and those lips and eyes. Actually, for a while Burton is filming everybody walking, and Helena Bonham Carter is blocking Estella the whole time and I'm trying to watch her breasts move, but no good. Now, don't get me wrong, I like Helena too, like in Fight Club and Wings of the Dove, she's kind of hot, but here she's dressed up in an ape costume, so it's pretty much a no go. I don't like fat girls; so if a girl looks like an ape, forget it.

Anyway, before the movie I needed some cash so I took some out of a bank versateller across the street.

That was the last time I saw my credit/atm card. Ever. Do you want to know the last four digits? 6447. Doesn't matter. I cancelled it. Yeahhhhhhhhhhhp, cancelled it. First I called the Coronet to see if anyone had found it:

Ted: Hey, uh, I saw the last show of Planet of the Apes there yesterday, and I think I might have, uh, lost my credit card in there... Did anyone turn one in?

Coronet Jack-Ass: I don't see one.

Ted: Right... but, can you... check?

CJA: If someone found it, they'd have probably put it somewhere out in the open where I could see it. And, I'm looking at my desk right now and I don't see a credit card.

Ted: Rigggghhhht. Could you maybe check and see if I left it where I was sitting? Like, in that area?

CJA: Name?

Ted: Theodore (my card has Theodore on it) --

CJA: Can you spell that please?

Ted: T. H. E. O-D-O. R. E. Strong, S-T-R-O-N-G.

CJA: Okay. Is that Mastercard, American Express---

Ted: It's Visa. Visa (like if you find a fucking credit card, that's probably gonna be it).

CJA: Okay.

Ted: Thanks, bye.

One, he has no intention of looking for my card. Two, so I called and cancelled it. Then I wrote myself a check for two hundred dollars, but no bank would take it since it wasn't written on their check, and since I don't have an account there. My money is all in a Merrill Lynch CMA account -- only thing is they don't have any bank/money branches.

So, I wrote a check to my friend Eric and he gave me $200 cash. My new card should arrive in 3-5 days. Which means no new leather coats or shoes in the next 3 to 5 days.

Might see Bully tomorrow at the Lumiere. And I did and I liked it. Lots of lush Florida locations, stupid kids happily committing murder and sex, nudity and nubile bodies.

Previous: At the end of a freezing, miserable San Francisco July weekend, Eric and I walked over to the Cinema 21 to see Spielberg's A.I.

At the two-hour mark, I leaned over to Eric and said, "This sucks!"

This movie reminds me of when I eat something, and then it travels through my system, and then the next time I see it, it is all brown and sitting in a toilet. That is what A.I. reminds me of.

It also reminds me of how I feel after I have three martinis, three glasses of wine, a couple of rum and Cokes, and then 6 beers. The next day is how I feel when I saw A.I.

This movie reminds me of when Joanna's dog once did something in Joanna's car, and it was all mushy, smelly and brown.

A.I. also reminds me of The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997), Hook (1991) and Always (1989) -- other really bad Spielberg movies.

William Hurt makes this robot kid and sells him to two parents who's son is frozen because he's like almost died or something. Then the kid shows up alive, then the robot kid is left in a forest. Then the robot kid wants to find his "mommy" for the rest of the movie. Jude Law is framed for a murder, he's a robot male prostitute. He and Osment become pals. Osment thinks if he can find The Blue Fairy from Pinocchio, he can get back to his mom. He finds her underwater at Coney Island. He spends 15 minutes sitting underwater in a submarine-helicopter staring at this old statue saying "help me, blue fairy" or something, over and over again. Then there's another half hour of Spielberg's wise old futuristic metal robot people talking about how humans are no longer in existence, and they find Osment who's memory chip show's them some humans. Then they bring his mommy back to life for one day of son-mommy love. This movie sucks.

There was this dude in the market just now. He was wearing aquablue rimmed sunglasses, and black sweat pants and a red jacket with gold buttons like a nutcracker would wear. He starts talking to me in line. He shows me this picture of some wine glasses on a dinner table and says "this is mine. I had to tear it all down before the old lady got home." Then the next picture he said "was taken by Richard Pryor's wife." It looked like it was from the seventies, it was a little bigger than an 8 x 10. It was a fuzzy picture of a rabbit. Then he showed me another one of his "works" -- another shot of blurry wine glasses on a table. He was in his 50s and stoned and talking and laughing a lot.

Otherwise, today (July 14) was miserable in SF, the coldest city in the continental U.S., as usual in the summertime. I saw The Score with DeNiro, Brando, Ed Norton and Angela Bassett at the Metro. I stood in a very short line for approximately 15 minutes to get a frozen cherry slush thing. I finally get up there, and tell the old Indian woman what I want. She tells a kid to get it. Then she walks away and comes back and has no idea who I am. She's like, "Yes?" And I'm like "he's helping me." So, she says "next!" and a guy comes up.

Then the kid brings my drink and sets it down. And she looks at me and says, "is this yours?" I said yes. Then she slides it over to the people working the second register, like it's part of their stuff. I say, "no, that's mine." She's like, "this is yours?" She's looking around like, what is going on? And she's all confused. I say, "yes this is mine. I told you what I wanted, then you told him to get it." Bla, bla, bla. Finally I paid my $3.75 for the drink.

The movie was good. It was sort of routine, but not dull. The cast was great, it was tight, nicely shot -- in Montreal, nice score. When I left, some guy said to his friends, a married couple, that it was "paint by the numbers!" She said, "it was nice for a Saturday matinee." The guy must have heard that and been saving it up, to use on people -- "So paint by the numbers! Arggg!" But he was right too. No surprises. Even the surprises were no surprises, because in this genre we expect all the surprises.

On Thursday, July12 (it's not really July 12 yet, is it?), I went with my friend to see... The Anniversary Party. I will use a "codename" for my friend, as I don't want to invade her privacy. Let's see. What should we call her? Barbara? No. Angie? No. But Angie's better. Rachel? I love the name Rachel, but this girl doesn't seem like a Rachel. Emmanuelle? That's sounds good.

So, first Emmanuelle and I went to get "burgers" at a restaurant on Haight called Magnolia. The burgers were good, but big, like 1/2 pounders. And the fries were good. And they had this homemade cola, which was surprisingly awful. I do not recommend it. But the waitress did bring us a candle.

Then we motorcycled over to the Embarcadero. Also showing was Lost and Delirious, and Emmanuelle asked what that movie was and I said it's about these two girls who go away to boarding school and fall in love with each other and discover the joys of love, and she was like oh, I have to see that. And that's exactly what I was thinking. I meant, I didn't mean I was thinking that SHE has to see it, I meant that I was thinking that I have to see it too.

Then the movie. We both liked it a lot. The cast was great. Jennifer Jason Leigh, Alan Cumming, Parker Posey, Gwyneth Paltrow, Kevin Kline, Phoebe Cates, Jane Adams, John C. Reilly, John Benjamin Hickey, Denis O'Hare, Mina Badie, Jennifer Beals, Matt Malloy and Michael Panes who played Levi Panes. He was really cynical and funny, and he looked just like a young Peter Sellers (and even did an Indian accent a couple times!) with those glasses he wore. I had never seen this guy before, but he was great, he actually reminded me of me. Kevin Kline and Phoebe Cates' real life children, Owen Kline and Greta Kline play Kline's and Cates' children.

So it was about relationships and friends among the Hollywood set, a lot of people sort of playing versions of themselves. Leigh and Cumming had just gotten back together after separating for like a year? And everyone was celebrating their anniversary. Lots of things came out. Is this relationship meant to be? Leigh thinks if she can get pregnant she can help save her marriage, bla, bla, bla.

But it was good. It felt like you were at the party. Halfway through everybody does ecstacy (I call it "x", some people call it "e" but I don't because you can say to someone "Dude, I'm x-ing" but you can't say "Dude, I'm eeing" because people think you're saying "Dude, I'm Ian." When will people catch on to this truth!) and there is some nudity, a run away dog, bitter arguments, a near drowning, and of course love. Enjoy!

The last couple of weeks I saw Crazy/Beautiful, The Closet, Time and Tide, Kiss of the Dragon and Jump Tomorrow.

I saw a free preview of Crazy/Beautiful at the Kabuki a day or two before it came out. How? My buddy Pete's a movie reviewer for a radio station and gets free tix! The movie was 2.5 stars. I love Kirsten Dunst. I love her. Bruce Davison was her daddy. Jay Hernandez as Carlos Nuņez. Directed by John Stockwell.

Kirsey is a drunk and a dope hog, she wears hot, little, tight half shirt things. So does her best pal (cute, but no Kirsey). Then she falls for a poor kid from the tracks or something. He wants to learn and go to that famous army college. I'll think of it in a second. He likes her too, but has to deal with his Mexican-American family, who is like, "this girl no good for you!" So, he spends like 5 hours a day just bussing back and forth to a good high school. Anyway, Kirsey filmed some nude scenes but they were cut, when the people opted for a PG-13.

Next! The Closet. A French comedy. Pretty good. At the Clay. Daniel Auteuil plays this rather dull guy at work. No one likes him and he is going to be fired. Then he and a neighbor come up with this ploy, send in pix of Auteuil in the gay throes of passion. So they doctor a pic and send it in. So, the company can't fire him now, or it will look like they fired him because he was gay. Gerard Depardieu plays a large, fat man who is also a bigot, but must now befriend Auteuil to save his own job. Wackiness and self-discovery await. It's pretty good. Thierry Lhermitte, Michele Laroque, Michel Aumont and Jean Rochefort co-star.

Next! Time and Tide at the Lumiere. Rather entertaining Hong Kong actioner. Tight. I fell asleep a few times. I never do this, but times are changing. I don't blame the movie. "No tigers, no dragons... just a hell of a lot of bullets." With Nicholas Tse, Wu Bai, Candy Lo and Cathy Tsui.

Next! Kiss of the Dragon. A quality Americanized Hong Kong action film with Jet Li, Bridget Fonda, Tcheky Karyo and Burt Kwouk. Chinese intelligence officer who goes to Paris on assignment becomes embroiled in a deadly conspiracy. Kiss Fear Goodbye! There's a really hot actress in it too, but I can't seem to find out who she is.

Burt Kwouk (see here: http://dangerseekers.tripod.com/SALUTE/id9.html) is a classic. I was surprised to find him in Kiss of the Dragon, plus he received fifth billing in the opening credits -- not bad. Kwouk was Cato (Kato) in the Pink Panther films. Clouseau's faithful manservant who was under instruction to try to kill Clouseau constantly.

Burt Kwouk was born on July 18, 1930, in Manchester, England, UK.

Kwouk made three James Bond films (Goldfinger, You Only Live Twice and Casino Royale) and appeared in all but the first Pink Panther films. He made a total of 8 films each with Panther co-stars Herbert Lom and Graham Stark and 7 each with Andre Maranne and Peter Sellers.

His films include: Son of the Pink Panther (1993), Air America (1990), "Noble House" (1988) mini-series, Empire of the Sun (1987) as Mr. Chen, Plenty (1985), Curse of the Pink Panther (1983), Trail of the Pink Panther (1982), The Fiendish Plot of Dr. Fu Manchu (1980), Revenge of the Pink Panther (1978), The Last Remake of Beau Geste (1977), The Pink Panther Strikes Again (1976), Rollerball (1975), The Return of the Pink Panther (1974), The Shoes of the Fisherman (1968), You Only Live Twice (1967) as Spectre 3, Casino Royale (1967), Goldfinger (1964) as Mr. Ling, A Shot in the Dark (1964) as Kato, Satan Never Sleeps (1962), Expresso Bongo (1960), The Inn of the Sixth Happiness (1958).

He has appeared on many British TV shows including "Lovejoy", "Doctor Who", "Saint, The", "Avengers, The", "Danger Man".

Next! On Saturday, July 7, I walked down to Grammophone Video where I returned Revenge of the Pink Panther (which, strictly by chance I had rented the day before I saw him in Kiss the Dragon!) and The Wicker Man. I rented Loser (which absolutely SUCKS, I am watching it now), Mighty Peking Man and the recent version of Crime + Punishment.

Then I had to kill some time before I saw Signs and Wonders at the Lumiere. So, I decided to walk down to Victor's Pizza and get a slice of "pizza." On the way a woman was like "bla, bla, bla" -- I had my walkman on. She handed me a slip of paper and I didn't want to throw it away right in front of her, so I started looking at it. It said: "Clairvoyant... Tarol [sic] Readings... Love Potion and novelties... I can tell your Pass, Present and Future..." I can see that Tarol is a typo or mistake. But, "pass" instead of "past" is just plain stupid. I can tell you what happen in you pass life!

So, I got my ticket for Signs and Wonders and some Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and a rootbeer and went in to the theatre. The previews started five minutes late, and I was like, dude! it's time to start! Then after the previews, the movie started. In about 7 seconds I knew I had walked into the wrong theatre. I was seeing Jump Tomorrow. Luckily I had planned on seeing it too, so I stayed. Very good. Offbeat romantic comedy. This dude is supposed to marry this woman he doesn't really know, just to please his family. She is being brought over from Nigeria or someplace. He then meets a girl who's involved with a guy she's not really in love with. Throw in a jilted Frenchman and let the fun begin!

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